Time heals all wounds?? apparently not

Posted: April 27, 2013 in Mental Health

Like many of my fellow sufferers the seeds of my condition were planted in childhood and no matter how hard I try the world seems to revolve back around to those memories whether I want to remember or not. By that I mean i am part of my family, the old friends I have are still there in my life and seeing them can be great but the effects afterwards can be solemn and hard to bear.

I once thought I had managed to isolate the bad parts of my life and because I didn’t think about them they were forgotten. This was proved to be a very bad mistake as it was then revealed that it was these unconscious memories that lay behind everything and I was reacting out of sync with events because I had this for want of a better word bias towards everything.

I have spent a small part of the day with family and old friends, literally a couple of hours and the drive home was a mess of anger, sadness and confusion. I know that my siblings had very different childhoods than me and each other but what they remember confuses me no end, is it their own bias that stops them remembering things as I do or am I just misremembering them, I have very clear flash backs but i also have psychotic hallucinations and I know they’re wrong so are these “memories” just another version?

Whatever the case may be the past always comes back to haunt you, bygones are great but what you say and how you feel are very different and you can only control one of them and even then its precarious whether you can do that well.

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