New year or just January?

Posted: December 11, 2012 in Mental Health

When I was a youth we had ways of stating things that were kind of code, we even had the temerity at times to think we were being original as if teens hadn’t been doing the same as us for generations. We used many words to describe many things but the one I remember best was the dayer, now the word dayer on its own wasnt a word but add a number and you were now elucidating perfectly in 1980’s teen.

Basically we judged a night out on how many days we took to recover, most were unremarkable and thus were left unremarked upon but the special nights were legend, a weekend in Southend was a three dayer, my best mates eighteenth was a three dayer also, and many other nights wer there or there abouts, One legendary night, forever known as Leon’s party and often sung about to the tune of Granpa‘s party a hit at the time was a five dayer, in effect we took a whole week to get back to normality and not for necessarily good reasons.

I could handle the drink, still can if I did choose to imbibe but I handle it so well I dont bother. I was never one for hangovers back then and as such I recovered from the beers instantly but the bruises and sore feet took forever. the other lads were light weights and had sore everything for days and the emotional fall out was immense relationships were made and broken , I met a girl  who I dated for a while , my mate split with his steady girlfriend and we unwittingly stumbled into a Turkish gangsters card game and had to apologise in sign language.

In short it set the bar and we used that as a measure for everything else  that preceded it. This year is looking like a five dayer and I dont know what the scale max’s up to. Do I allow a week per day or a month per day? I can’t work it out, I suspect weeks will suffice but the year was so big I can’t say for certain. I wont go over the events, that was a blog ago and I’m bored even if everyone else isnt. What I am is trying to decide when the rest period starts, shall I wait until the new year in the hope that the christmas period adds more to the legend, and the hope is a positive element but there begs the question. If I wait and its crap or there is more bollocks to deal with I might never start the recuperation I clearly need.

I am tied into one thing before the christmas period that I want to fulfil and will find therapeutic too. other than that I have a man thing to do, build a sledge for my son and that’s it. There is a drink and meal I have to attend and again want to and there may be another Xmas meal with some BPD buddies, who knew they could exist? So come sunday I literally dont have anything to do other than enjoy the time with my family and drive a bit, a doddle right?

In theory this sounds great but I am not  a great patient when it comes to R&R so there is an element of dread involved too. I want to laze around, do nothing and relax but I dont have that setting in my DNA and nothing is likely to change that according to recently acquired knowledge about BPD. On an aside I was told that the reason BPD exists at all is to do with the brain not connecting synapses normally at nurturing time, this failure then grows exponentially and hey presto PD, scary thought or what. So that said I am looking at doing nothing in two ways, it might be the breeding ground of bad feelings and angst or a rest from the trials and tribulations of life as a volunteer, school governor and aspiring author.

I reckon that december 31st is just a convenience for the rest of the world, “from today I will ” is what they are saying but change the words to year as its january 1st tomorrow. I cant get my head around that and see the year with the necessary resting period, a five dayer no less as over and the time for recovery is here now, in essence I am declaring Steve PLC closed for the season , not for christmas or the new year but winter, If the year to come pans out anywhere like the one we are about to pass through then it might need a rethink on the five dayer rule, a six dayer may need to be inserted to cover it all, lets hope not.

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