Away with the fairies??

Posted: October 31, 2012 in Mental Health

I’m not now and dont think I ever have been insane, Ive believed I was at the time but now I understand more about the condition I know I was possibly psychotic for a time but insane is a different level of crazy to where I was. I say this by way of explanation because I think I may be heading down a path that will eventually have the powers that be sending me letters that imply I am well over the invisible line in the sand so if I disappear off line I may be locked in a padded room somewhere.

I have always been prone to strange visions, hallucinations if you will and my perception causes me to struggle with whats real and whats imagined and the last few days I have struggled to know whats actually going on and what I have dreamt or imagined. I know other BPD sufferers who experienced the same problem and this is really my lifeline, without that knowledge I may have felt out of my depth and succumbed to the idea I am insane.

I wont go into detail about what I have experienced, its unpleasant to remember and I wont pass that feeling on to anyone else, the fact I believed it was real makes the unpleasantness even worse but I now understand why it happened, again through discussions with my peers. I am going away for a few days , camping in november so my sanity is definitely in question on that front but I hope the loss of the internet and TV will make me relax and enjoy the fresh air and my beautiful daughters company in the fair city of Exeter. I hope by the tiem I come back the visions have ceased and my own version of normality has returned.

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