Irony, is that like making your clothes look nice?

Posted: July 17, 2012 in Mental Health

I have long berated the world for its lake of Irony, the failure of much of the planet to se things in this was confuses and confounds me as I see it Irony makes things that are shit seem less so by changing the emphasis, so that must a be a good thing yes?

I know its hard whilst in the mire to see the funny side of anything, especially the chronically depressed but its there if you look and whilst I am always hard to shake once i get deeply depressed or angry I can be brought around with a healthy does of either Irony or sardony which I like almost as much. Sardonic humour can be very poorly received but is great for the person being sardonic, selfish but so is breathing so what the hell.

I have been in a bit of a mood since my procedure on friday so havent necessarily felt like having the mickey taken out of me or my poor abused testicles, a reasonably understandable position to take I’m sure most would agree. This of course does not protect me from my own very wicked sense of humour or from making me use my pain and suffering to good effect in the guise of guilt and incapacitation, I have pretty much laid about on my bed barking orders and making very pathetic sounds whenever I am asked why I wasnt doing it my self, not all my noises were voluntary I was in actual pain but it doesnt hurt, no pun intended, to lay it on a bit for the wife I’m sure the men will agree.

Now I am laying in bed unable to do very much without recourse of pain and discomfort so I do what I can and think, try to create something from my mind that will either be a chapter in my book or a scene in some other work, to do this one needs to remember events and try to use the feelings and awareness of your surroundings, what was the lighting like, the smell all sorts of stimulae need to be thought about so you can effectively draw a picture with words, its a chore but when done right is quite gratifying. So my most recent event was obviously the vasectomy, not a nice memory but that doesnt preclude it from being useful. I went back to laying there, the ambience of the room and what was said and done, the technical bits were out of view thankfully but I remembered the middle aged lady standing alongside my head, she got told off by the surgeon/GP for not keeping me distracted so she finally began talking to me.

She asked what I did for a living, a dodgy subject given we were in darkest Chatham and doing anything for a living or otherwise is not considered de rigeur, I usually say student but as I am currently writing my second book, out soon in Kindle, be ready folks, I said writer. This prompted her to say she doesnt read very much, she doesnt have the time and all the other excuses people who spend hours watching TV make for not expanding their mind with the wonder of literature. Now I am laying in flagrante having my flaccid unimpressive penis poked around and held with a peg of all things, my testicles spouting blood and feeling very unsexy, so she starts to tell me she is reading fifty shades of grey, now I am a literary snob of sorts, popular doesnt equate to good in my head and I am suspicious of a novel that gets so successful at the time its final installment is out, If it was really good then people would have been waiting for book two with bated breath so how does this have all three installments out before anyone even notices it?? this is besides the point.

The lady who was essentially telling me she was currently half way through what I have been reliably informed is akin to the readers letters of a well known porn mag of th eighties whilst I have my most precious organs toyed with, I could have got involved in a conversation on erotic fiction, its pros and cons, whether being written by a woman would make it better or just different but I really didnt feel like it, in fact as she started to say a little about why she was enjoying it i was distracted by what felt like a thousand kicks in the bollocks at once, Apparently the local anaesthetic hadn’t got that far, bless. I was too wrapped up in nausea and pain to consider her statement but it was along the lines of giving her something to read that might excite her and thereby benefit her other half, lovely sentiments but again laying there with my entire private area not only on show but at its worst, shrunken and wrinkled with blood oozing out, hearing that Mr Grey was something of an inspiration seemed not just Ironic but somewhat cruel.

Having said that I am now able to look back and smile about it, the conversation not the vasectomy that is still very much a recovery in progress and moving, any movement at all is difficult for me right now, the closest book to me was the aforementioned shades of grey but I felt it would be a double effort to reach out and browse its pages, 1. it would hurt and 2. would make my sexual adequacy be brought into question although the wife says I have nothing to concern myself with, like I said theres a lot of guilt about the house these days ha ha


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