Thanks, c**T I needed that

Posted: June 20, 2012 in Mental Health

Harsh words and I apologise for any upset sensibilities but I am having a very stressful evening. My next door neighbour, who probably has mental health issues herself so I am not being unkind about her unnecessarily has decided to start a war, feud or whatever you want to call it with my family, again.

Again being the operative word as this has gone on every summer since we moved in, it escalated last year to having mediators involved and we naively believed we would have some peace this year but boy how wrong were we. It started earlier this week, unbeknownst to me when she began haranguing our neighbour about the noise her dogs were making, I was unaware but this morning I became fully appraised of her latest change of attitude. I was having a well deserved lie in, it was about 8.55 when I hear some dogs barking, not unusual in our little terrace nor is it unusual if dogs bark for other dogs to bark back, which they did including my precious Willow, this was followed by a barrage of swearing about our dogs and how we have to control our f**king dogs, followed by a door slam.

I laughed and rolled over, the wife came up and I told her what I’d heard, she is in a vulnerable state at the moment what with her own anxiety issues and my flare up of BPD so she was worried, I shrugged it off and told her to ignore her. Later in the morning I was in the garden surveying a spot for a new storage box, Willow was with me in her buster collar after an operation and she barked at me to play with her, she’s not a big dog so not very loud, I laughed and told her to keep it up, from behind the trellis on our fence the old hag appears on her cordless phone talking loudly to someone about environmental health and they were coming round, bullshit or not it mattered not because we had nothing to worry about so I laughed at her and went in to carry on with my day.

I had a normal evening , cooked and ate then decided to visit our local supermarket for some fruit and veg, Tesco’s dont really do what I want so we didnt have much delivered, anyway so off I go about five minutes away from home, not really supposed to be alone but its a short walk and I had my phone, my mood was stable and things went smoothly, the goods on offer werent great but that’s life. As I’m paying my phone goes and the wife is frantic on the other end asking how long I am going to be etc. The neighbour has shouted and ranted at her over the fence in front of my son and his two friends, all of whom were terrified and the wife is in a shit state, I go as fast as I can and get there in 5 minutes.

Now my initial reaction as I walked quickly home was to kick her door in and kill her, natural right? well maybe not but to me its a default position and one I have to convince myself not to do, I managed this and by the time I put the shopping down in the kitchen I had a plan of what to say and how to do so, the wife wasnt happy about me going alone so stayed by the front door to listen in.

I rang the door bell and stood 2 metres back in order to not intimidate anyone unnecessarily, I didnt really think she would answer but surprise, she did with he arms folded and all attitude, she puts on a very convincing performance when required of a weak old lady with chronic lung problems who struggles to do anything but today she was mardy old cow, I asked her by what right she thought she could shout at my family from across her fence into our garden and cause them to be so upset, she sneered and told me there would be no more shouting, she had made a complaint and we were going to find out now what was what, we should have controlled our dog, I laughed and told her our dog was a hundred times better behaved than her fucking little dust muppets, this was my only swear word and may have been ill advised, but I was wound up and a little profanity is a long way from my initial plan, she retorted with some crap about my family then I laughed and told her I was going to be complaining myself in the morning, at this point she went ballistic and began claiming I was banging on her door threatening her, that she was going to get me sorted.

At this point with me laughing she slammed the door shut, I didnt stay and do the shout at the door thing or knock again I walked into my home and laughed to my wife, our nearest neighbours came round almost immediately to say they had heard everything and knew i hadn’t been threatening in anyway, we laughed at the temerity of the old bat and went about our evening, I was wound up and a little stressed but knew I would be better served sending our housing association an email of events while they were fresh, typical me get writing and things will be ok.

While I finished the email the police arrived and went next door, I knew the knock was coming but tried to style it out, the police have never really been an issue for me, luck rather than judgement so I wasnt bothered. After a good half hour the door went and a very pleasant young lady in uniform came in saying she had heard one half of the story and knew there would be differences, I accept this officer doesnt know me or her so can’t just assume one way or another, but at this point I’m under suspicion.

We filled her in on the back story, going back to the first summer then through last year when the police were involved due to our other neighbours having need of their assistance in dealing with her, she tried politely to bring it up to date so I explained about the exchange at her doorstep, why I had intentionally stood so far back and the fact I had sworn but not aggressively, she was smiling as I spoke and seemed to be coming to a conclusion herself about things. The old bat had told her I had banged the door until she opened it, I rang the bel once, then proceeded to rant and rave then tell her I was going to get some people to come and do her in, now I may have problems with my recall, my temper is fierce and very hard to control but I was tone cold in our exchange and knew what I’d said, so did my wife who was right there and our neighbours who had been earwigging so I wasnt too bothered by it at that point. The officer explained she wasnt as we suspected a community liaison or beat bobby but a response officer, basically 999 reactor, and she had phoned them claiming to be a poor disabled woman on her own with a huge monster of a man threatening her physical harm imminently. Luckily the officer was sensible and reasonable so she listened to me and the wife and came to see the truth in what we said, she was of course going to corroborate our story but it sounded plausible and she even advised us to report her to our housing association, she remarked how well behaved the dog was, compared to what seh’d been told and thanked us for our patience.

Now this was a couple of hours ago, the officer didnt drive away for a further half hour for whatever reason so she had spent an hour and half in our little close and until she left I was paranoid she would come back and arrest me, so was my son who was keeping an eye on the car from his bedroom. I have taken a while to think and realised that I could well have been taken away for questioning on her say so, that if this had happened my sense of injustice would have bubbled up and I would not likely have gone quietly, which would have inflamed the situation and gotten me in more trouble.

Sitting here now I am fuming and keeping a lid on it for the sake of my stressed out wife and the should be sleeping son who I had to reassure I wasnt being taken away, I want to knock through the wall and wring her neck, I could easily kick her doors in and get to her and almost every fibre of my being says I should avenge myself on her, I dont know how but somehow but I am pleased to say I am fighting it with an almost equal amount of will power that says its not worth the recriminations it would cause and essentially she wasnt worth it. This is a hard night for me, I am trying to concentrate on anything and finding it hard to but I know that I will soon take my meds and switch off for the night, no doubt the whole thing will start in the morning with calls from the people I have emailed so I should just try and chill out, I wont but I will try.

  1. Mandi says:

    Ok, so I HAD to laugh as soon as I saw this. Here’s why. Our nrighbor is crazy. She started complaining probably 5yrs ago about our dogs barking. We felt bad. Got different kinds of collars, gave her our numbers to call day or night etc… She was nice! Said she knew we were working on it. Then started calling the police everytime we left the house. We thought it was legitimate, then talked to ALL neighbors who said it wasn’t an issue. We ended up in court, she didnt show. Ot goes in spurts (when she doesn’t have a boyfriend she’s staying with) and she just started again. Her father moved in 2 houses down so now we have 2 complaing neighbors. Even though the police know it’s not really an issue, they have to fine us if called one more time. (This last bit has all been in the last 3 days) We have no choice but to find new homes for our dogs. A friend is going to take our basset hound Daisy. She’s a sweet dog and they have another dog and 4 kids so she’ll be happy. And that, if all works out, would be easier for my little girls (4 and 7, they are begging us to let them go to the neighbors house and set her straight. Little balls of fire!) 🙂 Our other dog is very old and we’re hoping a family that takes care of other dashounds will take him but don’t know. All in all, EXACTLY what we BOTH need right now. Asshole neighbors and run in’s with the police. (Every 15 or so times they’ve come out my name goes in the paper for “noise disturbance”. And its a small town. I hope people just think I’m cool and play loud music. 🙂 Anyhow… I just think its interesting how so many of our lives parallel so often. One more stress to add to the mix. As if being crazy isn’t enough! Hope it all works out for you!!

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