Just A head? could it be the way forward

Posted: June 19, 2012 in Crazy stuff

Walking along today, alone which isnt supposed to happen tut tut, I got to thinking about weird shit, as one does in a period of borderline intensity, or episode as the shrinks call them. Funnily enough I was carrying out my grown up mature person duties for the school and I acquitted myself very well I think.

So back to the weird shit, I was watching a DVD of our holiday last night and the wife commented on how photogenic I was, with a clean shaven head and clipped beard and a little colour I did look as good as I ever have, problem was the rest of me although significantly lighter than I have been is still out of shape so I took the compliment and moved on, emotionally as one does. So as I walked along I thought about what my life would be like if I just had me head?

So this is my theory on that subject and explanation of why I think it would be a better life for most and maybe less aggravation. So first the obvious downsides, or supposed ones, for a start sex, well its probably not the politest thing to say but I would still be able to do most of my duties and also relieve the whole point of having my own needs as well, crude but thats the last we’ll say on the matter. Mobility would be reduced obviously but as I get escorted almost everywhere I could just have a carrier made and carry on with the current arrangement, I would even be light enough for my boys to take with them and save fortunes on tickets to places, come to think of it I’d get a mobility car for sure, although a precedent hasnt been set for just a head to get disability I’m sure I’d get the higher rate of both after a medical which would come back as a fail and after the appeal I’d be in gravy. So my main issue would be purely aesthetic and apart from leaning on my loved ones a bit it would be manageable.

So the good stuff, I wouldnt be capable of doing anything other than rant when I lose my rag, and that’s a big bonus for the world at large, as I said my good looks would be maintained, even a bit of weight loss due to the lack of body to consume calories, so I look good and my best asset would be in tact, my mind. For all the shot it does to me it is still by best feature by far, I get to create amazing images in my head, stories of incredible depth and depravity or romantic joy whilst offering all my friends and family the benefit of my screwed up intellect, I would still be able to get my degree and do most of my charity work, my brawn is an aside in these jobs so as long as we could find a way to keep my head alive I wouldnt necessarily lose any of the good things and from a health and safety point of view my mood would mean next to nothing, I couldnt take mine or anyone elses life and if I got really abusive a sound proof box could be used to shut me.

So with this plan in my head I get to thinking through the logistics and apart from Futurama I havent heard of anyone with the necessary technology in place so far so watch this space and if you hear anything about it let me know, the world would be grateful and my borderline fuck up of a head might actually become useful and less of an issue to the planet in general.


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