So my last post was pretty negative, on the BPD front and I have to say I am not sitting here a gibbering wreck suffering from deep depression at this moment in time, which is more luck than anything else. I am as I sit here a 100% better than I was, the days when I feel like I described yesterday are fewer and further between but they happen, and many of my friends are much worse than me, yes there are those worse off, but they are in the same boat as me so they have the same issue.

I am sympathetic to anyone with any ailment, well not workyshyitis which is prevalent in my local area among teens, but it is a matter of degrees, I had a very good friend who was dying of lung cancer, he was philosophical about the whole thing and regarded his illness as fair reward for ignoring all the advice about smoking over the years, he was a diamond who didnt get involved in self pity, at least not publicly I dont doubt he was different in private, maybe not always but it would be hard to imagine he didnt have bad days too. My point is he was worried about me and my mental health as he was talking to me, we mentioned his prognosis and what he was going to be having done to him but he was more concerned with my treatment, although to others I was suffering from something trivial like BPD he recognised my own battle and in the midst of his took time to enquire about mine, as I said a diamond and sadly missed.

If this can happen then why is it so rare and why is it that a man on his last legs, when he would have been completely forgiven for feeling his was the only problem in the world can’t others show the same compassion. Most of the people I know with BPD show extremely large amounts of compassion, something I have been told we lack before, along with insight and awareness of the damage we cause, we are in theory the most lacking of all the mental health patients, allied to our manipulative nature, pathological lying and general bad behaviour. So if this is true and BPD isnt a black whole of any thing positive then why do we get such a bad press? Why is it my experiences with fellow sufferers are so at odds with the public record of us?

As I said I am doing OK today, and today is as much as I care about right now, I am planning to be well for much longer, Uni stuff and plans for future employment, yes actual work that I would like to do and feel I might actually be good at, all this remains to be seen but as anyone who knew me two years back would know any plans I make are a massive leap forward and I know many other BPD sufferers who move forward with life, slowly to be sure but inertia is there and the major stumbling block on our forward movement is other people’s attitudes,

 I can only hope that the people out there who hold us in such low regard, most of whom are in professional positions, luckily the general populace dont know much about us, I say luckily because what they would hear would be from the mouths of these naysayers. I want offer up a rallying call to anyone with Mental health problems, and that is to fight for yourself when you can, rest when you need to and get help where you can but the truth is you are going to have to fight for yourself more often than not, but when the time comes and you ru n out of energy, dont stop just rest until you have the will to carry one.

  1. I’m met with blank stares when I tell people I’ve been diagnosed with BPD. Then I have to some how explain a disorder I find difficult to summarize.

    A friend of mine read a book a few months ago called “The Science of Evil” and it looked at different mental disorders, such as BPD, and how they lacked empathy. I was HORRIBLY offended by this book and wish I could be burned and never seen again. I am an extremely passionate person and it bothers me that those who don’t know anything about BPD will read books such as that one and that will be their first exposure!

    I’m glad you’re ok today 🙂 I went through a tough patch last week. Now fun!

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