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Posted: February 3, 2012 in Mental Health

My last post was a deep one, unintentionally it caused a few people to worry which I certainly didnt foresee, Im sorry and would not wish that on anyone, I worry very little about myself that when someone else does it I dont quite get it, I appreciate it but dont understand it.

My point may have been misinterpreted so I will clarify, I am not suicidal and will do nothing to actively end my life, I have three wonderful children who I am lucky enough to be able to speak to and express my love for anytime I like, unlike others less fortunate and i no more deserving than any of them, lucky like I say. In the end I will pass normally I hope, whatever that means these days, after all terrorist attack could be quite normal in a few years time, and my loved ones will mourn in a normal fashion for the same reasons as anyone who loses a father, husband or best mate will. Mt wish is they never know how hard life is for me, they dont read this blog, and if I can keep the facade up for the whole of my life then maybe it will happen.

BPD isnt fatal but it does destroy lives and I aim to disallow that and have a life of some note in the face of the odds, when I pass my children will have my writing to look back at and maybe even a few credits for my work to be proud of, I will go with a huge amount of pride in those I leave behind and this is as much as anyone can ask surely, I just have a different take on the bit in-between really that’s all.

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