Cunning plans the dragons would be in on

Posted: October 4, 2011 in Crazy stuff

Enough already of the dark miserable posts for a while I’m bored of writing them so god knows how terrible it is to have to read them.

So here I go with some great ideas that would get Duncan, Theo and Peter drooling with anticipation at the money I would make them. Firstly I want to set up a temp agency for criminals to get hoodlums and heavies and the like, they seem to get killed very regularly in every cop drama Ive seen so there must be a market for them, and with the possibility of them being under cover ciops pretending to be ex cops trying to find undercover criminals the whole thing gets messy and your average crime boss is busy doing coke and screwing bitches and for some reason being present at every crime they set up. The idea would be to get known villains from tne mean streets of south London and offer their services in general thuggery or more specialised skills like robbery or drug running, you could charge a good rate and theres never a shortage of new applicants is there.

My second plan is related in so much as I would offer marksmanship training to hoodlums and flunkies who seem to be able to fire sub machine guns at the general direction of the hero but somehow miss every time, this may seem like a difficult task but hitting someone with an automatic firearm is actually quite simple and half the criminals who get caught would never get done if they had hit what they were aiming at in the first place, increasing the quality of your hoods skillset would aid production and decrease time lost due to court cases etc, even the most successful crime boss could see the benefits and would pay good money for the option of having top guys looking after their drug factories or brothels.

Again related to this would be the offer of guards that actually do their job, instead of the two guys lighting each others cigarettes and keeping their backs to the wall while the hero climbs behind them how about having men who were vigilant and able to spot a huge muscle bound man whos only attempt at camouflage is some stripy face paint. the number of drug barons, mafioso and general bad eggs who fall foul of bad security is unlimited and again they would pay well for the services of some real guards who dont smoke, wont speak to each other and have nothing better to do than there jobs.

Now I accept these may not seem like legitimate business’s but the world is getting tougher to make money so adding additional value to the work already out there then thats the market to move into right? I am already suitably placed to start this business and would like an investment of 250,000 in unmarked bills for 1% of my business, this would reduce to 0% of the business once i got the money and if they didnt like it then my highly trained goons would have words, bearing in mind they wont have the level of security I can offer then their safety is in question and any arguement would be unadvisable.

I am confident of getting the oinvestment and when that weird looking bloke downstairs starts to ask questions I’ll have him knee capped for being so odd looking and asking stupid questions about which dragon would have been our favourite to get on board, we want the money and thats our favourite dragon the cash.

If anyone wnats to invest in these business on favourable terms or would like to offer their services then drop me a line, do it soon before i get incarcerated.

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