gratitude and respect

Posted: September 20, 2011 in Mental Health

I have had another strange day trying to figure out how to inter relate with other people. I’m not the worlds best socialiser and have to try very hard with new people to not seem wierd and intimidating but to be fair to me I try hard and you do have to meet people half way in my eyes. The reason for this blog is I have spent the morning in a large comprehensive school for my mentoring duties and the staff ther have been nothing short of hostile to me, ok maybe not that bad but far from helpful and friendly and as Im volunteering my time to deal with the kids they havent been able to then some minor courtesy and respect should be offered in my opinion.

No the kids I see spend almost every day in these environs and if this how they see people behaving what cjance do I have of getting them to show the commonest of courtesies to everyone else. One of my lads has respect issues, he feels he is constantly disrespected and doesnt understand why, he follows the tenet of respect having to be earned and until then you get none, I have fallen foul of this supposed rule before. Yes you need to earn the respect of your peers by showing the required elements to gain such, but there is also a very under used type of respeect whiich is called by many names common courtesy, manners and general politeness, he was amazed by this concept and I had to explain what should be in every childs head from the age they can say thank you onwards, and I know he’s not alone in not getting this idea as I have come across the attitude many times before.

I believe that you give everyone at least one chance to show you who they really are, depending on their age and situation it can take longer as the teenage boy standing alongside his mates might be trying to show off and its only in a one to one you get some idea of what makes him tick. The idea that just because we are strangers means I have to show them due respect and assume they will do the same back seems to have disappeared from the youth of the day. Is it because hey do not get this treatment from their parents or teachers or is it just a new world order that relies on the here and now, if youre not doing anything I precieve to be for me then I dont have to show you any respect, a sad situation if this is the case.

I know that what I do is done for my own selfish reasons, i want to use my time constructively while not being able to hold down a job, so I volunteer to meet my needs, as a happy side effect the kids get the benefit mof an experienced head to share some worldly wise knowledge and hopefully help them to avoid the pitfalls of teenage life, win win as we say but I do expect to be treated with some respect by the people who’s job its supposed to be to help these kids, Iget their time is limited and all that but I dont want a hug and kiss everytime I go in I just want them to be helpful and friendly and maybe appreciate the effort I am going through for their kids. Rant over I just get really wound up and unlkike this time 18 onths ago I havent held it all in and gone around pent up with anger and aggression i wrote it down and therefore its gone from life forever, until next week when I might actually say something

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