Night out unescorted

Posted: August 28, 2011 in Mental Health
Tags: , , , ,

So it was an evening to be remembered for many reasons but not least the fact I went stag and managed to stay long after most of my friends had left, and I behaved impeccably throughout. the occasion was the wedding of a friend I know through my group therapy and as such I didnt want to take my wife with me to the reception as she would have known no one and I would have been left trying to balance her and them which would have been too taxing for me at the best of times.

There were quite a few fellow group members due to be going so I took the plunge and went alone in the vain hope I could hide amongst them, what I thought I would be hiding from I dont know but it was a plan and it worked in so much as it got me there and through the door , which believe me was not a guaranteed event until the moment it happened. I had a result in the fact I bumped into an old face from the past in the car park and I think we both latched onto each other in the knowledge we could walk in together, she had her small child and her friend in tow but she was still nervous for the same reasons, we both knew the bride very well but no one else in the families at all.

Once we got into the room there was no sign of anyone we knew at all and I accosted a nice looking older lady to be sure we had the right room, she turned out to be the mother of the bride and once I explained where I knew her from i was warmly welcomed and had a nice chat about the weather at the time of the ceremony and the photos and stuff in which time the bride showed up and I felt a lot calmer, the room wasnt too big and the guests were all busy with their own groups, no one batted an eye at me turning up which was how I liked it . by the time I went and got a soft drink others from the group had turned up and the group got large enough to become invisible to anybody else there, which I like, I’m a big lad in a reasonably load checked short so incognito isnt easily done.

we had some lovely chats about allsorts a little bit of business, by which I mean medication and feelings etc but mostly about other stuff, one of the group member who famously cant have a conversation about anything but himself was next to me for a while I managed to live through that conversation and leave it amicably by going to the buffet which was on its last legs by the time I got there. the group got smaller very quickly as it began to break up very early as most of us couldnt last very long in a social setting so I was in a very small group by the time it got to 9.30 and to be honest it was the worst offenders I was left with , the bride made loads of effort to come and see us regularly and she was very happy we had all made the effort as she of all of us knew how much effort it was and that made the whole thing worth it.

in reflection I am happy with my night and the fact I managed to stay longer than most of my cohorts made it feel like a victory of sorts, over who or what I’m not sure but I really liked the fact so many of us showed up and made the effort for a good friend who was certainly worth it, My own experience wasnt anywhere near as bad as I thought it might be and we ended the evening saying we should plan another, which was a mile away from how I thought I’d feel. the lessons learned were I could be trusted in a social situation to maintain a cool demeanour an socialise with strangers without feeling threatening or threatened, also hopefully some of my peers realised they too can be out in public and not look out of place, which was great to see.

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