been asked this before? I have a few times and its a tough question to answer without going into the ins and outs of a ducks backside and even after the technical bits and pieces it never seems to add up. Trying to pin a tail on this condition is hard and its even more difficlut when there is opposing views on whether we actually have a condition in the first place, I get the arguement against us having BPD, its semantics basically but why do they offer no alternative diagnosis, is the inference that was have nothing at all wrong with us, because if thats the case I fear more for the rest of the planet if what we have is normal behaviour.

I try to break down my problems into sections, the superiority complex, inferiority complex, unexplained aggression, deep dark depressions and my impulsivity, these each have sub sections which have their own index for the adjoining symptoms, when I really try I can spot something like forty seperate things that add up to my BPD, unlike some I have never had Bi Polar mentioned but PTSD was my diagnosis for years and no one could find fault with it until I met a doctor who had experience with BPD and then it was plainly obvious apparently i had BPD. My question is I guess how do we know for sure we have something in common with others when the problem itself is so diverse and hard to define? The other sufferers I have met and there have been plenty all seem to share experiences and symptoms but the things we are different on are as wide ranging as those we have in common, this doesnt evedn take into account the drug and alcohol abusers who I cant fathom out as sufferering the same condition as me, I’m not in any way saying they dont I just dont get it, and mores the point if I, someone who has had a diagnosis for four years  and looked into it thouroughly, cant get it how can anyone professional or otherwise break it down into an actual thing which can be identified and treated?

I’m not saying we havent got it, I am certain I have and so do many others, not necessarily everyone who has a diagnosis though, what I am saying is how can we be pigeon holed and judged as a type, whether by professionals or the public at large when we cant really be pinned down within our peers. In trying hard to get a handle on this thing I have soul searched far too much, the old rumination leads to ruination has never been truer. I want to say something good about my situation, to offer a glimmer of hope to those further down the ladder to management than me but it would be trite and of no use, the struggle is so specific to each individual sufferer that seeing others do well is no indication you can do the same, I guess the only crumb I can offer is the harder you try to get a handle on it, and I mean really try, then the more likely you are to come out the other end with a result of some sort. dont set the bar too high though, I have watched people who thought they would be cured eventually come to realise they have no chance of this, its incurable in as much as the damage to your life has been done, but that doesntmean you have to follow the same patterns of self destruction forever and my own goal seems to be a reasonable , I dont want to live in joy I just want to have an absence of sadness, this may be too simplistic but its keeping me on the straight and narrow for now at least.


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