Return the scene of the crime

Posted: August 3, 2011 in Mental Health

So its been a week since my utter disgust and I have to return back to the group and no doubt there will be questions about the whole thing. I’m not really up for this as it seems purile and pathetic to harp on about this stuff and it would serve no purpose for me and therefore of no good to me. ultimatley I am over it, and I would rather spend my time working on some bodys real issue than going over what is a non issue to me.

the end result of all my angst and aggression last week was just to point out the ground I have left to cover before I can say I am truly recovered, the petty crap should be behind me but clearly its not and I have to admit this and deal with it sooner rather than later. I am taking on more stuff and increasing my exposure to the real world so the need to be “real” as the therapists put it is urgent.

I am resolved to deal with new stuff as it occurs and as quickly as I can so the spectre of having to sit a room with a bunch of people who want to talk about last thursday doesnt fill me with glee and puts me off wanting to go at all, I am commited to my therapy and have not missed a single session in the eighteen or so months Ive been going but I can truly say I am in two minds this week and if i feel this way in the morning it might be a red letter day for the group, but if i dont go the following week will be ten times worse as my absence will be blown up into a monlithic incident which allied to my rant on facebook will feed these people for hours while taking valuable time from those who desperately need it, and yes i do care about some of my group and want them to have the best possible treatment, the stupid thing is my not being there would probably get discussed for longer than if i turned up, so i have to go just to kill the tittle tattle once and for all. I just hope i can kill this quickly and painlessly and get on with the important stuff.

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