BPD, a measure

Posted: June 30, 2011 in Mental Health

What follows is a part of an article about BPD, it was part of a longer piece which went into quite a lot of areas that didnt really resonate with me, as an actual BPD sufferer, I dont have permission to publish, and have only used a small part just to illustrate a point.

“A person with a BPD often experiences a repetitive pattern of disorganization and instability in self-image, mood, behaviour and close personal relationships. This can cause significant distress or impairment in friendships and work. A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly and competent. They tend to be impulsive, prone to mood swings and erratic behavior. They are also easily depressed and tend to class things in black and white terms. This tendency to move between the idealization and devaluation of others is very typical of BPD, and is the cause of much of the emotional pain suffered by those afflicted by it. Intense emotional turmoil seems to be much the way of life for sufferers of BPD. It can also create high levels of frustration and low levels of tolerance, which can often lead to verbal, and sometimes physical, outbursts of aggression and anger. Self injury is also an issue for some Borderline Personalities with 1 in 10 committing suicide. Most Medical professionals agree that psychotic episodes in Borderline Personalities are often fleeting and generally in doubt. It is likely more the confusion as to where ones self ends and others begin, which is an issue for Borderlines, more than actually losing touch with reality itself, although this is not an absolute. Women are more prone to developing BPD and account for approximately 80% of sufferers.”

You may read this and think it was quite eloquent and concise, I dont, but its an opinion only and can be wrong obviously, but I will say what I think about BPD sufferers. Firstly they are usually as different from one another as they are from the so called normal people out there populating this planet, we are a minority but no less normal in our own way. Their is a huge wealth of strength of spirit in the people I have the honour of knowing with this condition, they are remarkably strong in so many ways and to honest they have need to be, just the very fact we/they function at all somedays is a testament to their incredible resilience.

They are nearly always very caring and loving people, sometimes to a fault, they will give anyone a second chance in the hope that by doing so it will give them the same when required. On many occasions they have taken heart rending abuse and forgiven the abuser even though to do so renders their condition worse, the need to be loved can be all encompassing and leaves the open to less salubrious characters but they will endeavour to put themsleves out there for as long as they can, yes we can be very closed off and solitary but not because we want to be , its a defense mechanism and behind those barriers is a vunerable and caring soul, usually but not always, because we dont fit a template.

The BPD sufferers I have known are usually very creative people, we have to be to allow us to create the fantasy world that protects us from the harshness of the real one around us, they can be artistic with almost any media and although it would be wrong to say they are all proficient at art, I certainly am not we have all tried very hard to use some form of creative media to express ourselves, some cook other write and many do paint, yes they can confuse the creativity sometimes but the very core of them has a soul that cannot be displayed in the Black and white thinking we are tarnished with.

The fact that there are many more women sufferers than men is a moot point, it has different hurdles but its the same race, it can be hard for the women to be around men, yet they suffer our presence and try to get on with things, the men have issues with women for very different reasons, mysogyny used as a defence will be tested in the presence of these amazing women and will almost always be replaced by unswerving respect for the females they have met and grown to care for. The women will also find that not all men have it in them to hurt them, that there is another whole world of normal men out there and this gives them a base to hopefully build on.

What I am clusmily trying to convey is that while there is a clinical explanation of BPD, it is just that clinical, devoid of any humanity and does not take into account the amazingly strong, brave and generous people who have this condition, it cannot convey how willing they are to help each other and even in the face of constant opposition will try to make a difference for others if they can. They are the good ones, no better than that, great ones who strive on and fight against surmounting odds and come through, yes we are difficult at times, can be desperate for attention and make decisions with the wrong part of our brain but this is a strength sometimes and I am proud to say I have friends with BPD and will never deny my own condition because to do so demeans my friends.

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Comments
  1. showard76 says:

    Hi Steve,

    I agree with you’re point the BPD sufferers are as different as everyone else and it’s not fair to ‘tar’ us all with the same brush. Clincial explanatations of BPD have their place, but I worry about how often we are portrayed as ‘dangerous’ ‘manipulative’ and how even therapists will do anything to ‘aviod’ getting a BPD patient on their treatment list, it’s a disgrace!

    Of the quote you mention, I gree it is not a ‘helpful’ description and this is the bit I disagree with most “…which can often lead to verbal, and sometimes physical, outbursts of aggression and anger.” Almost never experienced this myself, but I guess everyone is different…The only aggression I have is usually internalized and self-harming!?

    BTW when you don’t have permission to ‘copy’ an article if you make sure you have put it as a quote and include a link to the source article it is usually ok, so if you just add a link and indicate the text is copyright of the source your quote will be ok.

    Would you like to write a guest post for my blog or for me to share one of your listed posts? I would be happy to promote it for you, and if you would like me to write one for you I would be happy to 

    Sharon

    • bigsteveg says:

      Thanks again Sharon your comments are always welcome, Yes I would be happy write something for your blog and again would be grateful for anything you would do for mine, I’m a relative neewb to this so will follow your best advice on anything to do with this”thing” we do, just letme know whats required and I will endeavour to oblige, have a nice weekend

  2. showard76 says:

    No problem 🙂 You can write anything you like really – some guests are writing poetry, others a ‘day in the life of…’, it’s up to you what you would like to do or if there is one of your current posts you would like me to share I can do that. Just drop me an email at crystalbear96@hotmail.com with the piece and I’ll put it up 🙂 Is there anything specific you would like me to write as a guest post for you? Hope you’ve had a good weekend

    • bigsteveg says:

      I dont thnk my poerty is up to muster at the moment, I am using a pragmatic style that may become fashionable one day but not today, I guess I could look at what posts have been best recieved and use one of the those, leave it with me. as for your guest spot for me I would imagine some of your first things about the diagnosis would resonante with people and have a huge value in their own experiences, but thats an opinion, you submit what you’d like others to read, this is wolrd class prevaricating aint it, BPD 101, sorry, I will make a decision and get it sent you , have great week mate if you can

  3. showard76 says:

    lol, no problem – I’m terribly indecisive at times myself. I will think about a piece for you, I haven’t really written much about my BPD yet as once I start I can’t stop so I keep ending up with unfinished rambles! hope you have a good week too – I just went back to work for the first time today – maybe I could write about going back to work after being off ‘sick’ due to BPD and knowing everyone there now knows about your condition… hmmmm

    • bigsteveg says:

      That would be a great thing to read about, as we will one day hopefully all get back into work, maybe without the problem of everyone knowing about our conditions so it would be really useful, not just for me but anyone else who is currently out of employment Because of BPD, well done by the way for being able to, I cant imagine working full time yet, I do some volunteering so I dont have to fill my time up as much and thats hard to do because your commiting to doing something so working is a proper achievement.

  4. showard76 says:

    Hi Steve, i’ve written the ‘returning to work’ post! here is the link so you can share it on your blog http://wp.me/pLoi4-eJ, hope you enjoy and it inspires others 🙂

    • bigsteveg says:

      thanols sharon I just have one very important question, How do i get this to link onto your blog, Im a fool I know but Its never come up before, if you could give me an idiots guide I will act on it tout suit, cheers mate

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